All Saints' Day

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? And just so you know in case you were wondering, the much ballyhooed juggernaut known as The Art Kumbalek Democracy Express 2008 For Any and All Political Office -- Whatever You Got Needs Filling I'll Fill It 'Cause That's The Kind Of Guy I Am -- Campaign juggers on with one more officially sanctioned 2007 stop, this being over by the East Side's Trocadero, 7-9 p.m. All Saints' Day Nov. 1, you bet.

Hillary Schmillary

Did you see that Republican debate for the president the other night and all they could talk about was Hillary? I tell you's, if she gets elected I guess it'll be nice for me 'cause with Big Bill as her First-what-the-fock, I can use all the old Clinton jokes again and not have to think up anything new, ain'a?

Vote Art Kumbalek

Lord willing, hope to see you at one of these Democracy Express events. And what I know is the last one's at this Trocadero joint over by the East Side/Downtown's Water Street. And after that, Vote Art Kumbalek and win a 10-speed bike, god bless America. I approve this message 'cause I'm Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

What A Gas

I'll tell you, that this experience has been dang-near like I croaked and got sent to heaven, I kid you not.

Beer Embrace

Beer Embrace
Originally uploaded by express milwaukee

Here's me and Dawn enjoyin' the finer things.

Bumpkin Carving

Lord willing, hope to see you at one of these Democracy Express events. And what I know is the last one's at this Trocadero joint over by the East Side/Downtown's Water Street, the day after Hallo-focking-ween.

Democracy Express 2008

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? And yeah you bet, the Art Kumbalek Democracy Express 2008 For Any and All Political Office -- Whatever You Got Needs Filling I'll Fill It 'Cause That's The Kind Of Guy I Am -- Campaign has been like one big picnic on the cakewalk, I kid you not. Cripes, how the heck can you top the weekly picture of you and me getting together at some preordained joint to quaff $2 bottles of usually ice-cold Art Kumbalek Focktoberfest beer from Lakefront and also otherwise hob-nob on the ways and means for me to save this country through your generous support? Hey, you tell me.

Foreign Policy

The Kumbalek Fix: Shops, restaurants and focking condos. In Our Town where I come from, wherever we got some kind of problem this-or-that these days, we build shops, restaurants and condos over it and the problem seems to go away. So hey, how 'bout Darfur, Mexican border, Congo, Tora Bora, polar ice cap—Middle East? Erect a serviceable climate-controlled dome over Jerusalem and put in some nice shops, restaurants and condos. Mazel tov.

When I'm Elected

Need a prescription? Write it yourself and then tear it up 'cause you won't need it, no sir. We're going to have way-affordable over-the-counter drugs available 24/7 at every supermarket and 7-11 from coast to coast for whatever ails you. I especially insist on pills and capsulets to help the focksticks who can't keep their yaps shut during the motion picture at the movie theater as well as pills to prevent those knobs from waiting until every single focking item in their grocery cart crosses the scanner and be bagged by the plastic-paper consultant before they start fumbling for their checkbook and wad of coupons. And the pot what-they-call-the-marijuana? You bet. You'll find it in the seasoning section $9.95-an-ounce over by the baking accoutrements. Hey, it's green, and it comes from the earth just like your tomatoes, cauliflower and daffodils, so how can that be bad for you? You tell me.

Focktoberfest is a tax-deductible contribution

Focktoberfest is a tax deductible contribution
Originally uploaded by express milwaukee

Yes, it's true. Buy Focktoberfest beer at Pistol Pete's in Brook-focking-field and you can deduct it as a campaign contribution.