Find Value at Art-Mart

No matter what kind of bug-up-your-butt you got, be it local, state, asshole neighbor, nation-wide, wife/girlfriend, or world-wide, you just come to Art-Mart and I would sure-as-shootin' take care of it. With me in all the hallowed halls of offices, you would no longer have to dick around with the County Courthouse, City Hall, town-hall meeting, Madison, D.C., the Hague and who-knows-where. Fock no. Just come to me. Come to Art-Mart where you'll find value for all your political needs, I kid you not. All you got to do is get off your ass and vote.